How can one
balance the desire
for the yearning of companionship
and the desire for solitude?
 
How is it possible
to be faced
with the paradox of
wanting the embrace of
another’s soul,
voice,
and presence
when there is no trace
of anything other than
the heartbeat of which
belongs only to
you?
 
How is it possible
to be faced
with the paradox of
wanting to feel the weight of
one’s stillness,
emptiness
and nothingness
when you know full well
you chose to place yourself
in a situation where
all you can see
is the sea of eyes
reflecting back what
they see of
you?
 
To want to be surrounded
by the swirling winds that
disconnects you from
items of human creation,
falling into the embrace of
silence, shrouded only by
the veil you create as
your own personal barrier.
 
Time passes.
 
It becomes lonely,
realizing it as a
self-inflicted sense of
isolation,
a sobering feeling
that has overstayed
its welcome.
To think of what it would be like
to be acknowledged not only
by one’s thoughts,
but also by the spark,
contact,
and rush of seeing,
hearing,
and believing that
there can be
a balance
between each
paradox.
 
Recognizing that
it will be this feeling
that ebbs and flows,
just as the tides
are at the whim
of the moon.
 
Recognizing that
there is a place
for each paradox
to belong in the
heart and mind
of the beholder,
even though they may
arrive unannounced
and are often unwanted.
 
Recognizing that
circumstance dictates
the range of
emotions that
all belong to
you.

The inspiration behind Paradox was the conflicting feelings that I experience when I am either alone or when I am with a group of people.
 
I named it Paradox because of the way I go through contradictory thoughts when I consciously place myself in certain situations. If I go to a group hangout, I have the internal drive to find a way to revert back to a setting where I am alone with my own thoughts, even though I consciously accepted to be with people. On the other hand, if I am alone by myself, I end up having thoughts that lead to actions of me reaching out and talking to people, even though I wanted to be all alone in the first place.
 
This feeling continues to fluctuate over the past few years, and there have been times where this feeling was amplified and apparent that I began to acknowledge these paradoxical actions, thoughts, and emotions. I began to realize that “circumstance dictates the range of emotions” that I experience, and that this feeling “ebbs and flows”, allowing me to begin the process of being aware and accepting what I feel.
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